True Cliches

How have I not started this post of the true cliches yet!? Maybe because I have the google doc and I've just mentioned that... oh well, a future running list will start now.

might as well start now and "backfill" later:

1. "Everyone wants what they can't have". I hate how true this is. I also hate how you can know you only want something because you can't have it and yet you STILL want it. There's all sorts of science behind it but naturally no solution - or maybe there is... probably meditating. That seems to be the answer to most things in life.
2. "That which can be done today should not wait until tomorrow" that's definitely wrong, wtf did that old president say about not procrastinating? I also thought of a version once over and over (earworm!) "do the things you must do in order to enjoy the things you like to do" - the difference being that I'm not implying I'll find time to do the things I like, just that I'll like what I'm doing if I do the things I have to do first and therefore can act without the guilt of a dreaded to-do list.
3. "There's plenty of fish in the sea" ohhh how hard it is to remember this whilst in the throes of passion and romance... thank fucking god I'm not a teenager anymore - or even dating with feelings really. I'm in a relationship with writing to make the pain go away, there's no room for another person. see April update below for a phenomenal meme that goes with this one.
4. "Life's short and then you die." this is more of a not true one, and yet i know it's true... or live fast die young. </3
5. "I need some time to find myself" - every break up in the history of break ups. LINK for the badass babe who designed the illustration below, because she's a damn rock star.

6. "Less is more" thanks to the fact I'm not the only one having all sorts of dark days and realizations. I'd be terribly lonely if not for Emily - seriously I'm realizing I only see people for transactions (lollll weed cookie anyone?) ... not sure what that says about me, but Sammi WHO CARES??? dear god, maybe if I stopped analyzing myself I'd be able to understand something...

3/13/2021

Came to update this with more notes from my phone (if they fit here), but clearly the theme of the day is be re-reading things I've said only to wonder why the hell I said them. For example, the last sentence before the divider... 'maybe if I stopped analyzing myself I'd be able to understand something' ... but I'm pretty sure my goal is to understand myself... whatever, I guess this should be a good thing: signs of progress maybe, but only because in this case that was me a week ago (or something) whereas the other time this happened today was all within the same day... "me a few hours ago" seems like a stretch in terms of progress, but fuck it. Anyways, might as well add the one I wanted to:

7. "Talk is Cheap" ... read this post for context, I've over thought it enough tonight.

*NEW: so petty I'm removing this from number 6 and keeping it here: (thanks Em, ily!*) – ORIGINAL FOOTNOTE: wow, thought that part was a typo for Emily, but it's "thanks Em, I loveD ya!" which gave me a laugh.

APRIL 2021 IS ALMOST OVER!?!?!

4/20/2021: the day most think people relate to the other Mary Jane, but my heart's with my baby al and remembering the woman who gave my best friend life <3 not sure why I'm adding that now when I've written the date already many times, but nothing makes sense today - nor should it, because why not? fuck it.

someday I'll figure out how to ensure that the little line between the heading and where I want the paragraph to start keeps the style of the heading separated from the paragraph... but not today. jk, I literally just hit enter after the "it" and here we are. I am LoSiNgMyMiNd! is that possible if I've already lost it? probably.

Anyways, there's absolutely been some cliches that I thought to myself to add - I remember talking to JB (my boss) about it this week... maybe about learning to plan? oh oh wait no, here we go:

8. "Keep it simple stupid" KISS ... I forget where I even originally learned this, but it's true as proven every damn day at work.

Ah and re-reading seeing some names reminded me of this:

9. "With friends like this, who needs enemies?" If the common denominator here is me then I'm most likely the bad friend... but at this point I truly could not care less. I mean seeing as I basically tried to divorce myself from my parents (yes, I am 30 years old and still being driven insane by them) - no not divorce, emancipate! - but yeah, family > friends and I'm even burning those relationships. So bitches that I always knew deep down weren't real friends no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise? Irrelevant, because anything meaner than that is not reflective of the lack of mental capacity used on them other than proving this true cliche.

Wow

maybe I should re-read these posts instead of being so terrified that I'll be embarrassed of my thoughts and stop writing... because at least in this case, I'm just amused. I need to find a list of cliches to ensure I'm getting the wording right, particularly thinking of that one in which I wrote 'whatever that president said' - still too rushed to go look it up but it gave me a laugh. Also, now whenever I hear "there's plenty of fish in the sea" I'm going to think of that damn meme the sex god showed me... fuck I need to find it, let's see if I can within 2 minutes (my new work trick, setting time limits) otherwise I'll give up. WIN! can't let him ever see this until I come up with a more appropriate nickname that is less ego inflating, but still, it's fucking funny:

10. "It's like shooting fish in a barrel" - clearly just remembered thanks to the horrifying meme above, but I realized it was my response when the SG (typing sex god over and over feels wrong) showed me the meme... because I'm a brat and had to prove that he shouldn't be sad about being single, despite the minor detail that I probably definitely want him all to myself. Yet I told him to make a dating app profile... because that's not self-sabotaging or anything. At least I know I'm unique in the sense that I'm the "only girl he's ever slept with that told him he should join dating apps" - to be fair, I did say just to see what it's like because missing out on such a shift in the world of dating while it happens seems wrong. We're living some major history here! ANYWAYS, I said this in response to the meme because despite the stereotypes, being single at 30 using dating apps is like shooting fish in a barrel! That being said, I am pretty sure I'm in the minority in thinking this way... likely due to the fact my goals are a bit different than the majority of humanity. Why search for a relationship when instead you could fill a roster? Besides, I already know who I'm marrying if I ever decide to stop hating marriage (unlikely, but hey ya never know) - making that choice in kindergarten or middle school or whenever it was is probably one of the better things I've ever done... let's just hope he's not busy getting swept off his feet by a southern belle.

I need some water - and so much for that time limit, I remember looking at the clock at 10:22AM while writing my original post I came here to write and now it's lunch time. fuck! bye.

APRIL 22, 2021 - HAPPY BDAY CURVE!

Oh damn, this filled up fast... but I finally found my original file to paste in, so why not!?

why do I always think I am having a great breakthrough thought only to realize I’m quoting a cliche?

• Life’s what happens when you’re busy making other plans (seriously, so stop wasting time planning and just do it)

I just need to re-make my days with more moments of lightness until suddenly the light takes over the dark… without pills to help make things light.

not a rule just a life tip: PUT MUSIC ON

• when in doubt, “why am I worried?” and bang them out one at a time (even just mentally)

even brene brown’s research about vulnerability kindaaaa all comes back to a cliche - she advises people to speak about their embarrassments/shame to feel better… which really just means being honest (hard part is with yourself)

• i feel as though having depression/anxiety and being a recovering drug addict means I’m weak, even if logic says otherwise. I’m giving into the stigma I want to end.
• “a problem shared is a problem halved" .. my first post in "dark days" touches on this.