found my mind

Only took a few days this time, definitely progress

Maybe this isn't the first time I've moved from self-awareness to self-correction, but it certainly felt like it last night - particularly since I'm not positive I'd have changed my thinking without the extra reinforcement/reminder from the results of the personality test sissy sent (amen for that, link here to the ennegram... I'm a 7, the number most likely to be an addict.... and a bunch of other spot on observations).

Alright, let me email myself that note then just copy/pasting - I don't want to re-read and potentially ruin my authentically honest thoughts from the moment of feeling like I was making progress/an important realization (even if some of them are cringe-worthy... deal with it kiddo, you're here to be honest and vulnerable not entertaining and cool). So here is what was going through my head after having the most healing day ever in the middle of the woods in a cabin with Denver ... and being bailed on, again (spoiler alert: I didn't threaten anyone or have to venmo my guilt away!):

iPhone Notes from 3/18/2021 11PM:

...welp, it appears I got distracted for a few days. 3/22/21, notes + updates.

3/25/21

I knew this was here waiting to be updated, but I've been doing too much thinking to coherently write... not nearly as bad as the brutal depression days where I felt like I had to navigate immediately to a blank post and start writing my every thought before I lost the will to live again, but still not great. Therefore rather then finding my phone and the note that barely seems relevant now, I will publish this and HOPEFULLY (future self, pat yourself on the back if you remember this) come back to update after I write my latest post idea.