ADVENTURE

I'm alive!! I wonder how many more 'depressive episodes' I'll have to suffer through... hopefully none, but worst case at least I'm learning how to ride it out. And, ADVENTURE is a win! Who knew that building habits was so simple? Everyone I'm sure, but whatever, I'm here now! Maybe I'll keep track of this week here instead of on my whiteboard...

Day A D V E N T U R E

M x x x x   x* ?' x x x
T x**   x x x   x  ?'' x x x
W   x x! x x  x x x x(now) x
Th  x x :( x? x ... x x x
F x x ?      ?  x ? x  x   ? - as of 8PM
Sa ... weekends definitely don't count.
Su

*Sad but true: the new thing I did today? Leaving the apartment by myself and driving to CVS on my own. counting it though, because I am not a perfectionist. hmph.

Continued Tuesday at 10:10PM:

?'  --> I just had to triple check it's Tuesday which is why I'm sneaking this in after already writing the next 2, but anyways I need to tighten up some definitions since I wasn't sure if writing this 'counted' (more below).
**walking meditation at the park with Denver! which would have been my something 'new' if mikey didn't make an amazingly delicious 1st time ever chicken pot pie for dinner for us tonight.
?'' I have 2 hours left, there's still a chance... oh although I said initially that writing here would count! win, I'll x that baby out tomorrow while 'reflecting' as my new nightly 'routine' ... right so this is where I went back to check the symbols and realized I really need to fix the definitions if I want to track this here (which I'm already questioning - my whiteboard is pretty handy...) or even just in general because I ask myself too often if something 'counts.'

Current vs. Potential Future State

A --> AWARE (meditate 2+ min)
D --> DENVER (easiest)
V --> VEGGIE (just 1!! overall goal is to eat healthier)
E --> ENERGY --> JK, now it's Thursday and I remember, this E is for Engage (with anyone besides my roommates)
N --> NEW (1 new thing per day **See below)
T --> THERAPY (or JOURNAL! I remember adding that caveat for writing here)
U --> UPSIDE-DOWN (yoga swing! need to add more than just this to get yoga in)
R --> REFLECT (gratitude note, pray - want to turn into ROUTINE too)
E --> EAT (kinda covered, I've used it to keep track of taking my meds instead)
**my therapist suggested ensuring 1 letter each day is fulfilled by something new, which I actually like better... I had forgotten about that, but basically it allows for the 'double counting' I struggle with. I.e. I can do a new workout or eat a new meal to satisfy the E for Eat

Separately, I need to remember the things that have been bothering me while doing this or the random thoughts about what to change.
Annoyances:
- 'double counting' how many things can 1 action count for?
—> Denver & Exercise so far 100% fulfilled by me taking Denver to the park
—> As soon as I ate a carrot I'd also check off E for Eat (so Eat Meds works)
- Want to incorporate yoga
- R should be Routine Reflection!
—> Before bed check-in: doesn't need to be gratitude! any 'mental inventory'
- E has been bothering me since it's vague, + I always lump it with another letter.
—> UPDATE 2/25: apparently I avoid "Engage" so often that I forgot it...

Thoughts
I could just ensure they have to be separate going forward, but I like allowing room for double-counting with the caveat that something must be new each day. Ooh I know, I can combine the two IF either the method of exercising/playing with Denver/eating healthy is NEW!
—> Alright, that handles the first and last bullet of issues!
Yoga... hmm. without having it specifically there (as in Y for YOGA) I seem to have trouble doing it... even though upside down I do every day, I want to do more actual yoga sequences. Eh I suppose that can be one of the ways I change up exercise - so a triple win on the point above, nice.
Love when I answer my own questions, last annoyance covered by:
—> Before bed check-in: doesn't need to be gratitude! any 'mental inventory'
—> Ooh I could get into this bedtime routine for meditating too!

Anything else I want to make a habit of that's missing? I think with just the 2 updates of Routinely Reflect & the 'new' requirement on double counting.
Why? Because I've just been thinking about needing a routine, particularly first thing in the morning (baby steps!) and my overall diet - both of which are handled!

Nice. Bring it on, Wednesday.

Ugh it's Wednesday (well for 16 more minutes it is) but I want to go to bed, so I'll fill it out but update tomorrow.

fuck, I need to eat something. I never thought I'd be the type of person to forget about eating - my 16 year old self would be so jealous. Except sweetheart don't be, there's nothing fun about this state of mind.

xoxo, until tomorrow! ...or whenever I remember.

Thursday

I realized earlier that I fucked up one of the Es! ENGAGE! duh! Making the edits above. I can't believe I didn't sleep last night despite taking no drugs - I didn't even have coffee! And even more surprising? I'm crashing now, but I had a pleasant day, got to the park with denver and tried some new aerial tricks on my swing... and I didn't even want to take any adderall today! My streak without it continues, thank god that's not a bigger issue because the thought of it being as hard to quit as opiates made me want to die.

I wrote out a bunch of the mayhem in my head that normally I would have live streamed, but I needed pen on paper. NOTE TO SELF: upload a picture of the notes I wrote out. All in the name of figuring out what to do with my life... not a bad problem to have.

That being said, my phone is missing... a catch-22, because I'd love a real reason to not answer everyone but can't read my kindle without the app on my phone. The struggle is real...

Friday

Wow, I can't believe I remembered every day! I should make this a section/tag and make a new chart each week... love it. Between this and the morning routine idea I got from a "spiritual advisor" I'm golden (as long as I can wake up and start my day without reading in bed/panicking first).