idfwfeelings

I am self aware enough by now to know I do not handle rejection well - and even when I am the cause of the end of a relationship, I still don't handle it well when they inevitably (usually quickly ... god forbid I date a guy who can handle being single) move on to someone new. At least this time, I managed to get myself here instead of doing anything stupid/destructive. Writing my feelings here makes it way easier to pretend I just don't have any in real life - ESPECIALLY since I know it's just my ego hurting. I refuse to be petty just to try and prove a point that ultimately doesn't matter, because at the end of the day I want everyone to be happy anyways. Even though the moment of realization stings, I'm finally realizing I can step outside of this moment and acknowledge the irrational feelings without giving in to them.

...if that's not a win, I'm not sure what is.