Not Nice

I am very grateful to have a sister and parents that both want me to stay with them, but I need to remember that my people pleasing days are behind me. The book I read on the Headway app, "Not Nice" really hit home, because I've known I need to stop 'people pleasing' and it was a perfect reminder of how & why. I forget if I mentioned that book the last time I wrote about my success saying no... whatever.

Having my own space has always been a top priority for me, and while August in NC and September in FL were both great, that’s enough time not on my own. I like Charleston: I have friends here (including Allie & Jesse!! WAHOO!) have a very cheap place to stay thanks to my friends with a spare room - which is so nice after living alone or with family the last few years - and Maige is happy here playing with the pup (she's priority #1 after all).

I’ve been feeling all sorts of guilty trying to tell both my mom and sister I’m staying here for awhile instead of going back to NC or FL. Not anymore. Guilt is a useless emotion, and I don’t have time for it. I’m finally getting my shit together: turning ProPet into a real business, navigating the never ending job search (manifesting: I will get an offer from Landing this week!), and now even socializing! This is the right decision for me.

I have got to figure out how to keep the knowledge that my ex can still read this from entering my mind while writing, or else my safe space is gone. I’m sure I can figure out how to block 1 IP address… otherwise I'm not writing without a filter. Sigh. I'll figure it out, just typed that while walking Maige and wanted to get it out of my head and out here so I don't forget the main message here:

ditch the guilt, you're doing great!