Reality Check 2.20.21
I don't need to learn every coding language ever to build a website - there's a million platforms available to create online stores, I just have to do exactly what I did for this "blog" that I forget isn't a journal. This shouldn't be as shocking as it is, but here we are. What to do when your mind has flipped reality upside down? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
To-Do when I start living again/Recovery in Real Time:
TG4W: my almost daily mantra of thank god for weed (as long as I wait until evening to smoke... so do that).
Work for 10 minutes - that's it, no more no less
DRINK WATER.
Just DO something, start anything. Okay.
In order for the future:
- Clean my room.
- ....
- Work 10 min per day. THAT's all - oooh I need to incorporate it into adventure! (See below).
- Code.
- Go out, for fun, willingly.
What do I want to do? I have time to figure that out - a rare luxury that I am not wasting.
Make every day an ADVENTURE:
A: awareness - meditation, even if it is just a second of peace and breathing
D: denver - easily the first one done every day
V: veggies - even just a carrot
E: exercise - usually done with Denver, keep thinking on how to incorporate yoga. Nope... changing it to EDUCATION! at least 10 minutes per day of something related to learning. Working on any work project would be lovely, but I'll count the meditation class (ooh if I picked a time then I'd be knocking out 3 in 1 with that class between New/awareness/education/routine), or even just any of the how-to guides for my blog here. Ah! There we go, such a win.
N: new or no - this one has been tough, I liked Steve's idea of do something New every day, plus I'd probably count saying no to someone as doing something new. The New meditation class idea is a great one, and I've even somewhat counted that as 'new' in my head if I did it that day and cant think of any other N's.
T: therapy - I think originally I said either writing here or in my therapy chat, but I've definitely been thinking of it as counting therapy only... hm. Do I want to make both count? Yeah, in case of bad days. Just keep both top of mind.
U: upside-down! this one is great, just need to get more actual yoga involved.
R: reflect - writing in my gratitude list. I just was thinking how I should find a way to also make creating a routine part of this and wondered about using this R... might be more helpful than remembering to update that list and always thinking "I'm grateful for this moment of clarity." Okay, R is now ROUTINE! Do anything that works towards doing things in an orderly fashion or getting my life together. Examples:
E: engage - ugh I hate it so yes that means keep it. Talk to someone other than Mikey/Joey each day (must be a meaningful conversation).
...if only there was an H for hobby, I'd be satisfied... jk, I'll never be satisfied, and that's what I need to learn to accept. be satisfied with dissatisfaction! dear god.
Wow, maybe I should create a re-occuring reminder on my calendar to do this 'audit of adventure' and make any necessary adjustments to developing better habits... nah.